NOTE: The memorial will be on Monday, Dec. 6, mid morning to early afternoon at the Huntington Beach PUESTO! Here is a link to RSVP. Some folks will be doing bonfires later at Huntington Beach State Park.

When our dear Auggie died unexpectedly, just before Thanksgiving, we knew this would be an incredibly painful day for us. It is. His last conversations were about all the meaningful things we were going to do this week, as friends and family returned from studies around the country. His love for a feast day was infectious and unmistakable.

Despite growing up in a consumeristic culture, he always surprised us by loving our November meal more than the piles of toys he might get on Christmas morning. What he cared about wasn’t the stuff but the stuffing. Not because he necessarily liked all the recipes, but they all had the aroma of a special kind of love.

He loved to make sweet potatoes in his own style, maybe because he remembered the joy of harvesting piles of sweet potatoes in Kentucky with our late friend Ron Rosenstiel, who owned a property where we’d go in fall to respectfully rebury Native American remains disturbed by construction projects. Maybe it was simply because mom and dad were usually working on the main standard dishes and he knew this is where the creativity could come in.

As he grew up, he lived the meaning of his middle name Viator, which is Latin for pilgrim, wayfarer, or traveller. He covered many points on this globe, and sought all the local flavors along the way. He hiked in the jungles of Costa Rica and then fell in love with coffee as we watched the sunset in view of an erupting volcano. He sailed off the Florida Keys and had his first stone crab. He enjoyed late night delicacies at our friend Tak’s place in the old Hong Kong. He brought along KFC from the original Colonel Sanders store as he spelunked in the caves of Appalachia. He learned to understand wine as we explored the unique flavors of the Valle de Guadalupe. He feasted on trout we caught ourselves after evading black bears in our old Colorado mountain home. He boiled up Dungeness crabs we hauled out, via kayak in the Puget Sound. What made this all especially meaningful was that he did this with the people he loved and what brought everything together was the feast.

Perhaps all this is why Auggie dedicated himself to the world of culinary art and its history, despite his great love for other forms of expression, like music, philosophy, history, and art. He read one of Anthony Bourdain’s books as a teen, traveling through the surprisingly great food and coffee scenes in Shenzhen and Foshan. He had a second Bourdain book with him as he rode a Vespa knock off through the winding roads of Yangshuo to find spicy crawdads, pulled straight out of the river. He tasted more flavors in a quarter century than most will ever want or be able to savor. Despite the distances, as a young man starting his career, he took seriously Gustavo Arellano’s insistence that food is more than just what’s made in the kitchen and that there are amazing venues to experience even here in Southern California. It brings communities together—food involves a history, a culture, and place. That’s why he got interested in staying closer to Santa Ana, where he got his first chance to run a bar, at the acclaimed Mix Mix (don’t miss it if you’re in town when it’s open). His family got a chance to see him work his magic recently. And while you might suppose that we would be predisposed to only imagine he made great cocktails that night, those were the best damn drinks we’ve ever had. As he was shaking up a piece of liquid art with a smile, we knew that he had achieved an important moment in his life. It was one of the proudest moments of his parents’ life and it happened very recently.

As he was setting out on his own with his beloved Sydnie, they started to learn how to perfect pies and pastas. Auggie this year traveled with his mom to get bulk ginger to make a syrup he was hoping to use for holiday cocktails for us all to share.

We mention this to admit to the great privileges we experienced as a family, and to let you in on the only thing that’s really been able to help at all with our sorrow: remembering the joy, the “little slice of heaven” moments. Stacie often urges people to take a few moments out of each positive episode in life so that it stays in our memory. It’s easier for pain to stay in our minds than the delights, so it’s important to intentionally notice those beautiful times. We also hope you’ll consider, in addition to grieving with us, also being thankful with us, and using this moment to remember to make each of our days our art, like Auggie did.

Of all the flavors Auggie loved in this world, he would likely say he loved the flavors of a traditional holiday feast the best. For this reason, we are fasting this year from our usual menu options. Despite the vegetarian majority in our family, we do plan to return to indulging in most of the usual fixings next year, sans poultry. But our appetites for that are not with us today. Don’t worry, we’re getting fed. We just need a chance to withdraw and process the pain; the aromas of apple pie and stuffing just don’t seem right at this time.

Auggie appreciated the chance to meet with Mauricio (pictured) and Abigail Parra, two amazing folks in Ensenada’s food scene and more. On this day, he took us to all his favorite food spots. When we ended the day at his mobile restaurant called, appropriately *Nómada*, he received a call offering him a chance to have a permanent spot in a top hotel. This was where Auggie found Sol y Barro vineyards and the rest was history.

We want to share this with you because we know that there are so many people who are also grieving on this day, and we are sorry we can’t be with you to enjoy an actual embrace. Yet we hope you might consider celebrating for us by enjoying all the flavors we enjoyed with our boy, and honoring his memory by feasting a mighty feast. Love those in your midst. Don’t be afraid to tell them about your love. Reconcile with those with whom you’ve been fighting. Give thanks. For as sad as we are right now, and as hard as it is to imagine that the clouds of this sorrow will ever clear, we also have had many moments together to do just what this time of year is about: remembering with gratitude our immeasurable blessings.

As we have gone through old scrap books, photos, and recordings, we realize that what we had was more than most people on this planet could hope for. Perhaps you are reading this right now and feel lonely. Perhaps you’ve lost someone but not enough people seem to care. Perhaps you are worried about not just what today’s meal will be, but how you’ll sustain yourself in the weeks to come. We wish we could take all such sorrows and anxieties from you. And while we as the surviving immediate family of Auggie can’t do that heavy lifting ourselves, we can all follow Auggie’s example and spread joy to those we encounter in our many areas of life. We can provide mutual aid, like we’ve received this year. We have been astounded by the number of messages that have come in from folks in so many disparate contexts all telling of the powerful effect Auggie had on their lives. For instance, his work family at Puesto! reached out with the sort of affection one would expect from relatives but not a workplace (please do try their fare when you have the chance). Auggie worked at the Los Olivos location and Sydnie has been at their Huntington Beach spot.

In any case, we want to invite you to enjoy your meal this day without hesitation. You honor Auggie and his family by doing exactly what brought him joy: tasting the flavor of existence amid loved ones. As the sage Qoheleth famously remarked, there are several seasons in life, different times, and we must each honor the nature of that particular time. But do not think we are grieving without gratitude. The two can coexist, as can deep joy and the bitterest pain. We are truly thankful for Auggie this day, and we are thankful for you. That you have breath is an indication of your intrinsic value and meaning. Whatever circumstance you find yourself in this day, do as one of Auggie’s cap says: Breath in joy. Breath out peace.

With Thanks,

The Mallinson Family

Gratitude with Grief: A Holiday Message from The Mallinson Family To Yours